Is It Wrong I Don’t Have A Hustle?

I’m 27 years old, I’m single, I have two degrees and working on a third (pray for me).

I have a decent job (not the dream one but it’s coming) and I have good credit.

And that is my life, well some of my life.  And today someone pointed out those things to me and said “why are you hustling”? And immediately… Hustlin’ hustlin’ Everyday I’m hustlin by Rick Ross came into my head.  Why? Probably because I’m from Miami and well he’s our rap mascot.  So I become obsessed with duh! finding a hustle.  Looking for another job so I can make more money and looking for a part-time to make more money until my new money-making full-time comes along.  Oh and did I mention I already have a full-time job in addition to pursuing my MBA part-time.   So I looked for a couple of hours and nothing!  So I prayed and cried to God telling Him my frustrations.

Then confusion hit me like a slap to the face.

FYI I also suffer from minor anxiety attacks, mostly when I feel my life is spinning out of control.

And it was at the onset of an attack when I realized God is not a God of confusion, satan is.  He came in ever so quietly riding on the advice of a friend.  I almost missed him,almost. So I reminded myself to keep my eyes set on Jesus and softly in the background Bethel’s It Is Well came on and played this on time lyric.

“Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well”

Then I read my She Reads Truth devotional which highlighted Psalms 37:1-9

3  Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land

and befriend faithfulness. 4 Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.

6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,

And i heard God say ” I did not call you to hustle Mychelé, I called you to live abundantly. I want you to rest on the Sabbath, enjoy your family and friends.  How can you do all those things and hustle? Don’t you know I will provide your every need.”

And I wept.  Now I not saying hustlin’ is a bad thing or that you should quit your second job.  All I’m saying is don’t let the voice of other overrule the voice of God. Whatever or whoever is loud in your ear mute them and God speak into your heart.

MycheléAnjelica

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How Powerful is the Word of God?

For the word of God is living and active,sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and or marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

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One word… Powerful!  I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety since I was 16, and throughout the years the number of  my “crises” have decreased.  So far this year I’ve had 3.  Yesterday I had an episode or a “crisis”  as I like to call them.  I was speaking to my mother over the phone  and she asked me what I was doing and I told her trying to get my life together.  When she asked me what I meant by that it all came spilling out like a flipped over cup.  Lately I’ve been struggling with my current life situation and not being content with where I am in life.  I feel like I should be doing more, seeing more, making more basically I want more, I want more (see funny AT&T commercial).  And the most frustrating part is not knowing what I want more of.  I’ve been praying and fasting and seeking God for vision and purpose with silence as my answer.

I hung up with my mother and immediately went into prayer, which wasnt prayer at all.  It was more venting and complaining than anything.  I’ve been watching people around me be blessed and I’ve been so excited for them.  But that excitement turned into resentment and envy.  I have four friends graduating with Master degrees in May and now I’m comparing myself (mind you I have two bachelors) .  One of my best friends shared with me her revelation from God and I’m like ok God when is it my turn? Friend got a raise and now I don’t make enough money.

Ten seconds after I started my rant I recognized it for what it was or should I say who it was.  The anger, envy, self-loathing and comparisons didn’t come from me but from the enemy.  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” John 10:10.  And let me tell you he has been attacking me since the beginning of the year.  He’s tried to steal my hope, tried to kill me with car accidents and he wants to destroy my peace of mind.  How do I know? I felt it.  But I can’t fight physically with something I can’t see,  I had to meet him where he was and fight in the spirit.

For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.  Ephesians 6:12

Immediately I began to pray scripture because that’s the only sure-fire way I knew to knock the enemy on his behind.  I had to remind him that I am the head and not the tail (Deuteronomy 28:13) and that he was already defeated (Colossians 2:15).  When thoughts of hopelessness came Jeremiah 29:11 poured from my mouth.  Did he stop? No he told me I was alone and not loved, I knew it was a lie because God’s word said He would never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:8), that He loved me before I was a thought in my mother’s head (Jeremiah 1:5 ).  When the enemy told me I was ugly God said I was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14) and created in His image (Genesis 1:27).  And when I ran out of words to say all I could do was praise God and thank Him for His truth and His word. Praise Him for being God for being my Jehovah-Jireh(provider), Jehovah-Shalom(prince of peace) Jehovah-Nissi(banner).  I said a lot more but when I ran out of words to say the Holy Spirit said it for me. 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26.

I don’t know how long I was in my closet but that’s where my roommate who is also one of my best friends found me.  I know I freaked her (sorry Mel) but I also knew she understood.  And when it was all said and done I felt a release, I felt so light that I became dizzy and had to lay on the bed for a hot minute.

So I say all this to say as christians there will be times when we are tested but we have to be aware of where these test come from.  We can’t be blind to the forces of evil.  The bible says to resist the devil and he will flee (James 4:7) that means stand firm, oppose him or to resist temptation.  He will flee because he knows he cannot win if we are prepared to fight against him. Put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:13) and know your word.  I’m not an expert, theologian or pastor.  I’m just a girl whose experienced Gods power.  It’s not me and I will not take any of the credit. ALL Glory Be To God!

MycheleAnjelica

 

 

I <3 Book Review: Insurgent by Veronica Roth


Insurgent ( Book #2 in the Divergent Trilogy)

Veronica Roth

May 1, 2012

Harper Teen; Young Adult, Dystopia

525 pages

5 Stars

Goodreads 

Book Description

One choice can transform you—or it can destroy you. But every choice has consequences, and as unrest surges in the factions all around her, Tris Prior must continue trying to save those she loves—and herself—while grappling with haunting questions of grief and forgiveness, identity and loyalty, politics and love.

Tris’s initiation day should have been marked by celebration and victory with her chosen faction; instead, the day ended with unspeakable horrors. War now looms as conflict between the factions and their ideologies grows. And in times of war, sides must be chosen, secrets will emerge, and choices will become even more irrevocable—and even more powerful. Transformed by her own decisions but also by haunting grief and guilt, radical new discoveries, and shifting relationships, Tris must fully embrace her Divergence, even if she does not know what she may lose by doing so.

My Take (Little to no spoilers)

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ this book!!!  So much so that I finished it the same day it was released.  Well to be fair I could not sleep that night.  I woke up at 2AM and was like ” Really?? Why am I awake?  My mother told me that when you wake up in the middle of the night God is trying to tell you something.  So I prayed read my bible and still not sleepy, so I decided to read Insurgent, #BadIDEA.  After reading the first chapter I was hooked and next thing you know my alarm is going off and its time for work #SAD. Every break I was reading, and finally during lunch i finished it.  Did I mention that I <3<3<3<3 this book.  Now to my “review”

Insurgent is book#2 in the Divergent Trilogy, you can read my review here.  The book picks up right where Divergent left off.  I would describe this book as “the road to the truth” .  We learn a little bit more about Four/Tobias’ life before Dauntless (including his mom).  We learn why the Erudite wanted to take out the Abnegation.  We see a whole lot more of the factionless including old characters. And what is beyond the fence. There is WAR, DEATH,LIES,SECRETS and more questions by the time you get to the end.   But its a great read!  I look forward to next year (AHHH) when book#3 is released.

Notes:

I loved the relationship Tris and Four have, Its realistic. Relationships aren’t all hugs and kisses especially when your high school aged (trust me I know) and I appreciate Veronica for trusting us with that understanding.

Tris has become such a confident kick butt person and i must say I’m proud.  She thinks for herself and trust her instincts, although her selfless thinking sometimes made me wanna kick her.

“Blood maybe thicker than water but too much bad blood will kill you” -Me

“It isn’t about you,” she says. It’s a gift. You cannot earn it, or it ceases to be a gift”- Amity woman (Reminds me of the gift of salvation through JEsus dying on the cross)

MycheleAnjelica